Monday, December 15, 2014

Where We've Been: Part 1

I think I can officially be considered a "blog neglector." Even though spell check tells me that's wrong, I've decided that it's a real word. :-)

I often think of things I'm learning about faith or life or things I'm struggling with in faith or life. Or daily life things that might be cute to share (the buddy IS quite adorable!). But, these "inspirations" always happen at a very inconvenient time to write and then life happens and I just don't get it done.

And then when I DO have a chance to write things down, I lack inspiration, so then I just don't write. But, then I'm not a good blogger and have absolutely zero connection with my "audience" (the handful of those that still read here).

So, I thought I might go back and write about "where we've been" through our adoption and infertility journey. So, brace yourself as this is quite a long story. I tried to make it brief, but that didn't work, so I will divide this into 2 parts. Sheesh. Our story of building a family is a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT than "we had a few drinks and whoops! I guess I ended up pregnant." Those stories sound like fairy tale stories if you ask me! Hard to believe that's the normal way to do these things.

Anyway, let's start at the very beginning. Hard to believe it's really been 4 years now since we started this journey!

December 2010- Stopped preventing pregnancy

February 2011- Really intentionally started trying to get pregnant. We had done Natural Family Planing to prevent pregnancy our entire marriage (ha! Isn't that ironic?)

May 2011- Went to the fertility Dr (RE) and found out that Dave's numbers were not so good.

Summer 2011- Went to several reputable natural fertility "experts" who were really nice and helped Dave's numbers to get a lot better, but still not in normal ranges- this was very expensive! We saw a naturopath, 2 different acupuncturists, did a whole lot of supplements during this time, which was expensive but we thought it would be worth it.

August 2011- Did one IUI- it didn't work.

Based on our research over the summer we realized that with Dave's issue (morphology), because he has a lot of sperm and they're pretty good swimmer, but they are not shaped correctly, IUI wouldn't really help with his issue and our best option would be IVF. This was totally out of our financial ability and we knew it would just be a SHOT at a pregnancy. So, we decided to pursue adoption. (Adoption was also something we talked about before we got married, so this seemed like a good choice for the time being!).

Fall 2011- We worked on our home study paperwork, but didn't give up entirely on our attempts to get pregnancy because pretty much EVERYONE we talked to said we still had a good chance.

February 2012- We decided to go to a urologist to find out if there was a reason for Dave's poor numbers. They did find bilateral varicoceles, but he would recommend IVF instead of surgery because they were similar in cost and it's debatable on how effective varicocele repair surgeries are. We then called a leading urologist in the country who said with Dave's numbers we should be able to pregnant. SO, we decided not to do the procedure.

March 2012- We found another acupuncturist who specializes in fertility, and started seeing him regularly.

May 2012- We found out we were chosen by the buddy's birthmother and brought him home 10 days later! BEST NEWS EVER!!!

At this time it seemed like a long, drawn out, tough journey. But, honestly, looking back, that first year was hard, but our journey to #2 would be a whole lot longer.

The summer of 2012 was the best summer of our lives! Hands down! We didn't worry about anything fertility related and enjoyed every minute with our sweet, sweet boy! We knew we wanted kids close together, so we decided we shouldn't wait too long to try again. We KNEW adoption would be a great option, but if we wanted biological kids, it would likely be better to try while we were younger because fertility diminishes with age. SO.......we started back up when the buddy was 6 months old. The "plan" was to try natural methods for a few months, then move on to more IUIs, and if that didn't work then pursue adoption again. We were thinking that within 6 months I'd either be pregnant or have a renewed home study. BUT, life doesn't work very well like that.

December 2012- We went back to the fertility acupuncturist we had started with in the spring to see if he could help us. After 3 months of working with him Dave's numbers not improving we decided to MOVE ON.

April 2013- We found another RE (fertility specialist) that is WAY less expensive than the big fertility clinic. We thought we would do a few IUIs with him to get them "out of the way," say we tried them and know where to go from there. However, he wanted to get to "the root" of Dave's problem, which we liked the idea of for sure! He tested all of Dave's hormones, found some out of whack and had him start on some drugs to help get Dave's testosterone up. It actually worked! His testosterone went up, BUT his sperm count got worse. 

November 2013- Dave's numbers were the worst they had been so far despite his testosterone getting better. The RE wanted Dave to go on a different drug, so he did that in December and it made him feel AWFUL. Like, horrible, awful. So, we thought that with how he felt on these drugs it was time to move on. We didn't think good could have come from him feeling so awful. 

As 2013 turned into 2014, a full year ago, we decided to start working on renewing our home study to adopt again. It was actually quite freeing! And considering we were matched with the buddy just 5 months into our wait, we were hopeful something like that could happen again. :)

February 2014- We were approved and on the waiting list to adopt! Yay! We were so excited!

More to come in 2 more parts.....


  1. Thanks for sharing! Looking forward to Part 2! I don't blog very often either, even though I often have valuable thoughts to share on my mind. Just blog whenever it works for you and don't expect yourself to be like those abnormal bloggers out there who post inspirational, witty posts every day ;)

    1. haha! Yeah! How do they do that anyway!? :-)

  2. I'm so glad you're doing this, Elizabeth! I was late to the game in finding your blog, so I'm really enjoying seeing the whole story. So many things I didn't know… like you brought home your son TEN DAYS after being matched! Wow! So excited to read more!

    1. Yes, his birthmother went into labor before we had a chance to meet her and make the match final. :) And before telling pretty much anyone! It was quite a surprise! Here's more-

  3. I'm so glad to hear from you and get the recap of your journey- and I just read the post you linked to above, about your journey to your son...WHOA!!!! That is just crazy awesome!!!


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