Tuesday, January 22, 2013

40th Anniversary of Roe V. Wade

I don't like to bring up controversial topics on here, but here I go again I guess!

If there is one issue that I've always been passionate about, it's abortion. I know this is because of my deep belief that just because an unborn baby is a life from the get-go. I know many people disagree with me, and oh my! is it an issue that is so controversial and emotional on both sides!! But, I just want to share my heart on the issue. Below is what I posted to facebook today:

"On the 40th Anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision I am full of gratitude that the buddys birthmother chose LIFE for him! If you disagree with this legal decision, and well, even if you don't, :) I encourage you to help foster a society and culture that makes adoption a viable and realistic option full of hope, and not "giving up" your baby! Adoption is a gift that takes two tragedies (infertility & unplanned pregnancy) and turns it into a miracle! There is SO much support both for birthmothers and mothers that choose to carry their pregnancy to term and parent out there if we just get the word out there! Let's make that the priority!"
Long before infertility I decided that if I felt so strongly against abortion then I should do something about it so I started volunteering at a Crisis Pregnancy Center. The center I volunteered at offered free pregnancy tests, ultrasounds and counseling (including post-abortion counseling). I ended up working as a "Bridge" counselor. The "Bridge" program was for women who decided to carry their pregnancies to term, whether they chose to parent or place their child for adoption. There were free pregnancy, birthing, parenting, safety, and cooking classes offered to these women, as well as emotional support through counseling, both professional and that offered by volunteers like me. The women would receive points for this as well as other things, like good grades on report cards, paychecks and confirmations from doctor's appointments. These points could then be traded in for both new and used items such as maternity clothes, baby supplies, clothes, diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. It was such an amazing ministry to be a part of!

On this side of infertility, some of those memories sting a bit. I wish I could even have the chance to be in need of a free ultrasound or even HAVE a prenatal doctor's visit! But, that's not the point of this post. The point is to say that those that find themselves in unplanned pregnancies far outweigh the number of people going through infertility and their pain is just as great. It's an ironic truth, but it's a lonely road imagining parenting alone or with an unsupportive (or even abusive) partner. And I strongly believe that if Christians want to make a difference in lowering the number of abortions it should be on the front lines with women in crisis mode and not just legislatively. Stark opposition to any idea isn't the way to win people over. It's LOVE!
I wish we lived in a society were adoption was less of a "taboo" subject and where it was considered more of an honorable option! And that there was more support for women that choose adoption plans for their babies! In the two years I volunteered at the clinic there was not ONE woman that I worked with that chose adoption. The women I worked with chose to parent their babies and I 100% support their decisions! They were strong, amazing and admirable women! But, that doesn't mean it's the best decision for every woman that finds herself in that situation and I wish we looked more on adoption as a glorious and miraculous option. I can only imagine how it would seem that abortion would make the issue/problem "go away," but I also can't begin to describe how much would be missing from our lives if the buddy's birthmother had chosen life for him! I know he is going to make a positive impact in the world. He already has in our lives and I'm so glad he is alive and well to make his mark on the world! Praise God!

This entire post may have just been rambling. I didn't put together my thoughts very coherently, but I hope that no matter your opinions in reading this that you know that these words are typed with compassion, hope and mercy. I hope we can show that to every person we encounter as it's truly the way that Jesus lived and calls us to as well!

Peace to you on this somber evening.

After writing this I realized I wanted to add a few things.

1. If you have experienced child/baby loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, child death or abortion my heart goes out to you.

2. Just in case this post has made you think that adoptive parents are just greedy and want to get their hands on "anyone's baby" please think again. It is well known through the domestic adoption world that the time in the hospital is the most gut-wrenching experience for adoptive parents. As excited as we were about bringing our baby home, I couldn't truly be happy as my heart broke for his birthmother. She made the choice she thought was best for him, but it doesn't mean it wasn't SO very hard for her and that she grieved the loss of raising the baby she had just given birth to. And for that reason what I thought would be the happiest day was full of mixed emotions as my heart broke for her as well. Complicated stuff.


  1. I LOVE this post! Even though I find myself a stronger proponent of reproductive rights from my infertile experience I totally agree with what you wrote. I guess I'm getting a little political here but I truly believe there is so much more we as a country could do to support families and family values (stronger maternity leave policies, head start, etc) and if we value our children like we say we do we should make it a priority.

    Hope you're ok with me saying that :)

  2. YES! Of course I agree with everything you said too! And even if I didn't, I'm always ok with differing opinions on here. That's what you get when you venture into the world of controversial topics. :)


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