So, in the midst of all the Christmas celebrations, we were also able to go out to dinner with the buddy's birth parents! We already know his birth mom pretty well, but it was the first time to meet his birth father.
At first I was a bit nervous about the meeting, but I then realized that there's no sense in worrying about it. It was going to go how it was going to go no matter how much stress I put into it. :-) Plus, I do think that after going through infertility, everything else is in better perspective. As Dave said, "the ink is dry" so it's not like they're taking him back! It makes me sad when society has those worries because that is NOT what open adoption is like!
Open adoption is honesty. It's giving your child another person to love them in their life AND it's giving them answers to many questions they may have in the future. I love that one day we'll be able to take out the pictures we took this weekend and show him how he got to have his first Christmas celebration with his parents and his birth parents all together and that we all love him very much. I love that we are in contact (mostly through email) with both of them and we can get answers to health questions or even questions about what they looked like as babies, etc. I love that the buddy will be able to know where he came from and will be able to ask them questions many people don't get to ask of their birth parents.
I know that there are situations when open adoption isn't the best situation for everyone involved for many different reasons. But, for us, it's going so well! Of course, there are nerves involved and my insecurity wonders if they think I'm doing a good job raising him. But, we are confident that for the buddy, this is the best.
And you know what, we LOVE his birth parents! It's super exciting to have met J, his birth father as well. They are both wonderfully kind and fun people to talk to. They have interesting lives and we have more in common that we might have thought. And of course, they're both good looking, as you can tell by looking at pictures of the buddy... hehe. :-)
I would post some photos, but we'll keep their identities private for now. But, I will just say that open adoption is cool! It's a new are of navigation for us, but it's still super cool. :-)