Sunday, July 22, 2012

Infertility & Adoption

I think that often people think that once you adopt you no longer have sadness and issues related to infertility. I thought (hoped) this might happen for me too! But, of course there are still times and situations that remind me of the pain we have been through.

But, recently someone recently asked if I would talk to a particular person about adoption because "she just gets so sad every time she starts her period." And even though we are HUGE proponents of adoption, my (I hope polite) reply was, "Even when you adopt, it doesn't mean that you stop getting sad when you get your period." Thankfully another person in the room said they completely understood, so I didn't feel crazy for making that my reply. :-)

Of course, the past couple of months my period has mostly been a side thought, and maybe even a relief (because as much as we want more children, I don't particularly want them to be 9 months apart). But, there's still a feeling of sadness and also frustration that our bodies just don't seem to "work" like they're "supposed" to. And it's hard to not care after a so much time of it being such a sad and upsetting time of the month. (Which is also strange after those first few years of marriage when my period was a RELIEF because we weren't ready to be parents! Whew... that's strange to think about.)

Then, this post showed up on one of my favorite blogs and was so fitting to this conversation! Creating a Family is a blog about what's new, interesting and thought-provoking in the world of infertility and adoption. And this post, "Does a Baby Fix Infertility?" really hits the nail on the head on this topic. I 100% believe that adoption is a beautiful way to build a family! And it's the way God designed us to build our family and that without the gift of adoption we wouldn't be N's parents, which would be so sad!! But, I also firmly believe that even though adoption makes you a parent and brings a child into your life to love and raise and is a miracle, I also believe it doesn't cure your infertility. There are still losses and this article addresses them quite well.

Anyway, just some awareness to start your week. =) More posts on parenting to come soon....


  1. It isn't the job of our children - however they come to us - to fix us. Also the act of finally becomming parents doesn't negate our previous experiences. I've been a mother for 6.5yrs. IF still sucks. I have a post brewing on how I'vve been affected by some friends' pregnancy announcement. Surprisingly (to me), it isn't their actual pregnancy that has affected me. It's the last few weeks they've had of holding that little secret between just the two of them - that unique family time. IF stole that special time from us. Rationally, I know it seems such a small thing. But it's yet another small thing IF has taken.

  2. Becky, I totally get that! It's the small things that get to me too. And when I least expect them to bother me. Even things like photos of new moms with their babies on their chest right in the delivery room get me every time. Of course I never think about that upsetting me in my daily life, but when a photo is posted on facebook it takes me off guard and I get a pang of disappointment.

  3. I think you are so right and I think that was a wonderful response to that person who talked about it to you.


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