Monday, January 9, 2012

The Roller-Coaster of Adoption!

Sometimes I feel that adopting is a full-time job! :-) I thought that after we completed our Home Study (the legal process that makes you legally and officially available to adopt... we were so busy during this part that we never really wrote!) that we would just be in a state of waiting, but it hasn't been like that. Our social worker encouraged us to find other agencies to apply with since their wait time is pretty long (18-24 months), so I spent weeks researching other potential agencies to work with. And we've found a couple of other potential ones and even applied with one agency out of the Memphis area.

I contacted this particular agency out of Memphis about 3 weeks ago and heard back from them pretty quickly that after we paid their modest application fee and complete their application process we could be on their list of waiting families! This is great news! One thing that's VERY difficult in choosing an agency is the fact that most agencies want you to pay thousands of dollars of contract fees up front. This is not a "scam." It just means that you are contracting with them to place through their agency in the end. It's VERY rare that an agency will not charge you any big fees until a child is actually placed in your home in your legal custody. So, that's what the majority of my research was in finding additional agencies. If you're going to be listed with multiple agencies, it's best to find ones without big up-front fees (unless of course you have tons of money... which we do not).

Anyway, about a week after I originally called this (reputable and Christian, just so you don't worry.. haha) agency the director called me back and said they'd love to work with us and think we would be a great fit for them, especially because of our openness to any race. She said they have slow years and some busier years, sometimes only placing just 3 infants in a year (Catholic Charities averages 10-12). BUT, she also said that they had 2 potential birthmothers come in that week and that she would like us to get everything in as quickly as possible if we wanted our profiles to be shown to these ladies! One of them had JUST given birth and another one had a due date for later in the month. She also said that there were only three families on their waiting list whose profiles would be shown to these potential birthmothers because of many families are not open to different races. So, even though we were in Wheaton for Christmas, we quickly filled out the application, did our research and started to get together everything we would need apply. AND of course my brain instantly calculated the math that we had a 50% chance of having a child in our home by the end of the month! (You know... 2 couples out of the 4 would be chosen.) That seemed REALLY fast!

But, of course... adoption is a roller-coster. And this was just our first little dip (or upside-down-turn or... whatever). The family of the mother that had just given birth discouraged her from choosing adoption, so she decided to parent the baby. And all of a sudden the reality that 50% of prospective adoptive parents that are matched with expectant parents will not end up finalizing the adoption. I don't care for that statistic. We didn't even make it to the match part and we already had a whirlwind of emotions wondering if this could happen.

So, life goes back to normal. It did remind me that when you're adopting, your life DOES change in the blink of an eye. But, it's good to remember that there will be A WHOLE LOT of blinking that goes on before we get to the life-changing one. :)

1 comment:

  1. Just found your blog!! Congratulations on your adoption journey!!

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