Tuesday, September 19, 2017

35 weeks

One week closer! 

The updates 

I had a non-stress test at 34w6d that was all good and OB told me there is only a 1 in 3,000 chance of stillbirth in the week following a good non-stress test. Good news! She has been pretty wiggly since then, which I appreciate. 😀

I told my OB I wasn't wild about Friday the 13th as my c-section day despite not thinking of myself as superstitious, so it has been moved to October 12th! I'm so grateful she obliged! One fewer day to count. 😀

We had a couple of baby showers over the weekend! We felt so so grateful for the generosity, love, encouragement, and support for everyone who came or reached out. It was so so lovely! 

Friday early evening we got (kind of) dressed up and went to the church to take some "maternity photos". Dave just took some pictures with his DSLR. Some turned out really well! We went to the church since Miriam's tree is there and we wanted to take pictures with her tree. Once we go through them and upload them to the computer I will share some. I really wanted some good quality pictures with my belly and the kids. 

As of today the countdown is 23 days (or less)! So I'm now in total to-do list and preparation mode. It's like I'm preparing for the world to stop. Everyone needs eye exams and such before then right? Plus, there is still a lot of set up and getting supplies from the attic, and learning at least the basics of breastfeeding to do. And.... I still haven't made our family's 2016 photo album. I figure that needs to be done before 2018, right? Haha

The to-do list is long, but it's very satisfying to check things off the list. I'm more like 95% sure we are bringing home a baby, so that's an improvement. Still praying she comes home safely! 

And oh! More good news! We are down to 3 names! Hopefully she fits one of them when we see her. ❤️

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

34 Weeks!

34 weeks is another great milestone. This is the point where my OB and MFM said they wouldn't stop labor after this point. I officially feel gigantic and can't believe I have 4-5 weeks of growing larger ahead of me!

I thought I should share this comparison since this is me in the same dress at 30 and 34 weeks, just FOUR weeks apart! Yikes! Am I going to double in size AGAIN?! 

One week ago (so right before I hit 34 weeks) I had my first contractions. Of course I freaked out and called my OB's office and they were so kind and let me come in to monitor them. Nothing showed up on the monitor so they were Braxton Hicks contractions. I've continued to have them on and off, which has been uncomfortable and annoying, but it's normal and definitely not labor, so I'm getting more used to it and trying to take it easier in the evening. I'm told it's just my uterus practicing. I actually feel grateful I haven't had them up until this point.

Over the weekend we got some more stuff cleaned up and set up in the nursery. One corner looks pretty good! And I officially have all the clothes up to 3 months organized and in the dresser or boxes in the storage closet. I'm not joking when I say there is a full dresser of newborn clothes ready for her already (obviously hand me downs from Sweet P), but I have the 0-3 month clothes also organized and in 3 boxes in the storage closet in case she comes home over 8 lbs. How we have so much baby girl clothes in that size shows how much people like to gift cute baby clothes! NONE of that is for this new baby. It's all just stuff that Sweet P wore. 

We had a growth scan on Friday at the MFM's office. Her estimated weight is 5lbs4oz, which is very close to Sweet P's BIRTH weight! No wonder I'm so big... this unnamed girl is practically full size! This weight at this gestation puts her in the 51st percentile, so she's entirely average. :) So far I've been able to put off insulin with my GD numbers, but there is a slight upward trend, so I'm nervous this may be the last week. I'd love to push it off further, but 4 weeks wouldn't be too bad. I'm just not wild about adding anything, especially when her weight is so normal (the biggest concern with GD is a big baby).

I wish I could remember other monumental things about baby this week. I will say I feel like she's attempting to bust out of my uterus. But I don't think that has ever happened before (a baby punching her way out of a uterus through the belly...haha), so Dave tells me not to worry about it. But, I do feel like the inside of my uterus is bruised from all her gymnastics moves. I don't know if this is normal or not. I'm a little too nervous to ask. haha

Overall I'm tired and uncomfortable and really ready to meet this baby. My anxiety is still an issue and I'm definitely not convinced we are bringing home a baby yet. Oh please Lord let her come home alive and healthy. At this point I wouldn't mind if she came early, but I'm not thinking she will and I have the full 30 days left to wait. But, of course I have moments almost every day where I'm worried the worst will happen. I hope and pray that this will subside if/when we bring her home. Thankfully I wasn't worried when we brought our 2 living children home, so I hope I don't this time either.

I have an official countdown on my phone now, so I don't think I'll lose track of how many days we have left. haha We are busy in the meantime. Lots of appointments, little league games, and church responsibilities are helping the time pass quickly! 


Tuesday, September 5, 2017

33 Weeks

All is going well at 33 weeks! Today I'm actually 33 weeks and 4 days. On Friday I get another growth scan and I'm anxious to see how baby girl is growing.

This weekend we got the nursery painted. And by "we" I mean my dad and Dave. It looks great! And I got all the baby clothes washed and organized, so I continue to organize and feel productive. I know most women who are 33 weeks pregnant assume they are bringing a baby home, and if I were to quantify it I would say I'm 90% sure we are bringing home a baby, but I still have worries that something will go wrong. So since I like to plan ahead I am definitely glad to be getting ready for baby girl, but I'm still scared we will do everything to prepare for her and something will go wrong. So please continue to pray she stays healthy and happy! 

My blood sugars have been slowly creeping up. Ugh! I'm right on the line for fasting levels and suspect if they don't come down I'll end up on insulin after seeing my MFM Friday. I know it's not a big deal, but I'd like to avoid it if I can. 

I saw my OB last week at 33 weeks and got a non-stress-test. To ease my anxiety about stillbirth I asked her if I could get weekly biophysical profiles. (Read about them here... an ultrasound that checks for baby's wellbeing and activity level). She said I could get one every other week and get a non-stress test the alternative weeks. This really put my mind at ease. She is very kind to me!

C-section is 38 days from now. I'm so grateful we've made it this far and all looks good but I'm hoping these next 38 days go quickly! Even Sweet P has started looking at my belly and saying "baby get out!"  Haha! 

Here's hoping for good news on Friday at the growth scan. I'm also getting my hair cut for the first time in almost a year. Yay!

Thursday, August 31, 2017

32 Weeks!

Whoops! Super late again! This time it's due to a very busy life at home. I'm the Sunday School Director at church and the fall semester starts Sunday, so I have been BUSY with that. Also, the buddy started pre-school, got a nasty cold that turned into a chest cough and needed steroids (poor guy), and also started his first season of Little League. We may be packing too much into this fall. :) But, I'm glad to be busy. Keeps me from stressing TOO much.

Last Friday, my 32 week appointment with the specialist was the BEST EVER (happy dance)! I think hitting that milestone was so, so big for me. If you remember, a few months back my RE (fertility doctor) said that "anything past 32 weeks is gravy for baby survival, so getting there was a big deal. Baby girl looked bigger and healthy on the ultrasound, and my blood sugar numbers were good, and my anxiety and sleep have been better, so I left that appointment feeling so, so good.

I felt a huge relief when I asked him about going into labor with the TAC (abdominal cerclage). Because it keeps your cervix closed from the top, uterine rupture is a very real concern. And since the cervix can't open at all, it can be hard to tell if labor is real or if someone is having intense Braxton Hicks contractions. Some women in the support groups I'm in have doctors that aren't too familiar with the TAC and want them to get to 39 weeks SO badly that they let them labor and things don't go well. Thank goodness I haven't had any contractions of any kind yet, but I was still worried about this and asked my MFM what he would do if I came in to the ER with contractions. He said that until 34 weeks they would use medication to try to stop the contractions, but that after 34 weeks they wouldn't try to stop labor for me because babies past that gestation do really, really well long term, even if they have a little bit of NICU time. This was a huge relief!

Saturday was Miriam's birthday. I had been very anxious about this date for awhile. I know in the future I will want to do lots to remember and memorialize her on this day, but this year I knew my emotions couldn't handle that. My emotions are already high enough worried about this baby I'm carrying that I knew I couldn't go to the sad place of missing her when I'm worried enough already. So, I told Dave I didn't want to make it a big part of our day and wanted to keep the day busy with our kids to keep myself from re-living how hard and sad the day was last year.

Turns out it's good we didn't have too much on our calendar because it's also the day that Dave was negotiating on the phone with multiple car dealerships and we ended up buying a van. Woa! I guess we must be feeling pretty confident about this baby girl coming home. I didn't want to put 3 carseats in one row, so we had been researching and looking into vans for awhile, and this weekend we were ready to take the plunge. I haven't really been able to drive it since we haven't had the time to get the carseats in there (we have some rearranging of carseats to do since Sweet P has just grown out of hers) so I've been driving the sedan and Dave has had the van without kids. I'm ready to start driving it though!

Monday and Tuesday baby girl had calmer days, which made me anxious. Sigh. She is usually SO active all day long (truly), so on days she's pretty calm I get worried. I thought for sure that by this point since I wouldn't be worried about my water breaking anymore I would stop being worried. But, it turns out instead of being worried about my water breaking I'm not worried about stillbirth. Blah. I know a few women whose babies got still toward the end of their pregnancies and then lost them so it's impossible for me to not worry about this. As long as baby girl is having an active day I feel pretty confident we are bringing her home in the next 6.5 weeks, but on the calm days I get terrified we are going to lose her. I hope she stays active enough to put my mind at ease, but I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up having a few more ER visits for non-stress-tests before she comes.

Thank you all so much for the support and prayers! Keep praying that baby girl stays healthy and this mama stays as calm as possible and that a healthy baby girl enters the outside world on or before October 13th! (Because I wouldn't complain if she came 2-3 weeks before then... haha) 

Monday, August 21, 2017

31 weeks

31 weeks is another great milestone! I'm grateful baby girl is still cooking and super active. I wanted to show a video of my belly moving around but am not sure how to share video here. Can anyone share with me how to do that? 

Anyway, I'm still nesting and cleaning out the house. Biggest task right now is cleaning out the crazy clutter of kids toys we have already accumulated. I'm hoping after this big project I can get started on the actual nursery. 

If I make it to Friday I'll be able to deliver at our local hospital! This would feel nice, to not need to feel like if something goes wrong I would need a transfer to the hospital 30 minutes away. 

Big news of the week was the eclipse. We drove to see totality and it was so cool! Most important thing is eye safety first, right? 

I really want to enjoy pregnancy, but most of all I'm ready for baby girl to arrive safely so I'm always able to check her breathing. I won't truly believe she's coming home until she is home. I'm hoping and praying we will get to use everything that's gathering in her bedroom in piles. ❤️